The Wisdom of Failure

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Looking back, as we approach another year end and tabulating whether my successes have been more than my failures. It’s clear that failure has left its imprint.

The hardest blow came in the form of failing a major exam. The pain was crippling. It did knock me out for a bit. But after all, how do you climb back onto the saddle when the horse has flung you off: when your plans fall to pieces? Life will constantly test your resolve and level of commitment.

If only we could have patience in the midst of our trials. Coping with rejection and apparent failure is a serious matter. The tragic death of John Kennedy Toole (American novelist born in 1937) screams this truth. No publisher would touch Toole’s book. He began suffering from paranoia and depression. In a vain attempt to kill the pain, he committed suicide at the age of 31. Toole’s novels were rejected during his lifetime. However, posthumously, he won the Pulitzer Prize in 1980.

If you focus on positive thinking, even the harshest defeat is only a stepping-stone.

Never let Success get to your Head. Never let Failure get to your Heart. “I didn’t get consumed by losses,” said the legendary NFL coach Don Shula, “and I didn’t get overwhelmed by successes.”

Many of us have stifled our life by heeding some misguided critic who implied we were not good enough. Few things in life are certain but failure is.

Failure seems as something to be avoided at all cost. Although it leaves a sour taste, we should embrace failure for the learning opportunity it is. Failure is the oldest teacher, and perhaps the wisest of them all. Some things are impossible to completely grasp without first falling down.

We live in a culture that values perfectionism and failure is often viewed as a sign of weakness. People become so fixated on not failing that they never move forward. When it comes to failing, our egos are our own worst enemies. It’s easier to accept failure in private, but once the failure is obvious to everyone around you, it’s becomes harder to accept it. Holding onto failures for way too long is destructive.

The Importance of Failure

  • It’s a learning Experience – Failure drives us to change. It represents opportunity and growth. It gives new direction. There is always one or more lessons to learn in what you may see as a failure.
  • It builds Character – We learn how to behave when we finally accomplish our goals. The humility we gain through our failures allows us to better handle and appreciate success.
  • It makes you Stronger – It’s with persistence we overcome failure to achieve success . When people fail, they feel unaccomplished, and so they try again and again, until they finally reach success.
  • Your chances of Succeeding Increases – Failures are the pillars for success. You gain experiences you could not get any other waySome things can only be learned through trial and error.
  • Failure is a type of Freedom – Why? Because the worst has happened. Now, you can relax and rebuild again.

Success does not come easy. Everyone must face one hurdle after another. If you think that once you have the success you crave, you can relax, you are sadly mistaken.

Failure can be costly, not only emotionally but financially as well. Some industries are very unforgiving as one or more failures may instantly get you the boot. The worse thing anyone can do, is not learn from failures.

In recent years, more and more executives have embraced the point of view, that failure is a prerequisite to invention. The fastest way to succeed,” IBM’s Thomas Watson, Sr., once said, “is to double your failure rate.” The growing acceptance of failure is changing the way companies approach innovation.

However, distinguishing between excusable and inexcusable failure is crucial. Managing failure is key. Some mistakes are unpardonable for example producing and marketing a dysfunctional product caused by poor quality control. Encouraging failure doesn’t mean abandoning or supervision or respect for sound practices. Managing for failure requires leaders to be more engaged, not less.

7 Powerful Quotes on failure:

1. “Failure is the tuition you pay for success.” ~Walter Brunell

2. “Success represents the 1% of your work which results from the 99% that is called failure.” ~Soichiro Honda

3. “Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” ~Truman Capote

4. “There is no failure. Only feedback.” ~Robert Allen

5. “Remember that failure is an event, not a person.” ~Zig ziglar

6. “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”~Henry Ford

7. “Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat. “~F. Scott Fitzgerald

Finally, don’t let the fear of failure hold you back.

Remember to take risks: if you win, you will be happy; if you lose, you will be wise. Always find joy in your journey for as George Bailey said it best It’s a Wonderful Life!

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Against All Odds: The Power of Persistence

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This week a door finally opened that I had been trying to open for so long. I was  heading into unknown territory. The odds were totally stacked against me. There seemed to be nothing working in my favour, yet I kept pressing on.

What makes some people give up whilst others hold on until the prize is won? How do you not give up when everything inside you to tells you to? When it seems your investment is yielding no returns. When your dreams seem a far stretch. “If people aren’t laughing at your dreams, your dreams aren’t big enough.” ~ Robin Sharma

The days leading up to my breakthrough were indeed the toughest. As the famous saying goes ” the darkest hour is just before dawn.” Well, the storm unleashed its full fury. Everything that could have gone wrong did, and then of course there were the dissenting voices. Friends who I assumed would always be at my side got tired of the fruitless journey. Even those closest to me really didn’t understand and thought they were offering supportive advice by telling me to give up. I felt cornered and outnumbered. Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of yours.” Unknown.

Don’t let small minds convince you that your dreams are too big.”

It became very difficult and I started to question myself; “Is it really worth it?”, “Am I wasting my time?”, “What if nothing ever happens?” But in those grim moments, it was really my faith in God that took me through. “When life knocks you down you can either stay on the ground and wallow in self-pity, or you can get back up and say this is NOT how the story is going to end. Your dreams were only given to you for a reasonYou don’t need a co-signer.”

Birthing your dreams is never a painless process. It is the discomfort and pain of the undesirable position you are in that forces you to reach out to something better.” ~ Dr. Moses Simuyemba

Stepping outside of your comfort zone and making bold decisions can be empowering but scary. It definitely takes inner strength and persistence to reach your goal. You will have to believe in yourself and know what you possess. Know the reason Why you are doing this.  Believe big, dream big and the results will be big. Of course you will have to put in the required effort and this may call for big sacrifices. Then finally, reaching your goal calls for patience. This is the part we hate the most but as Warren Buffett said it best, “No matter how great the talent or efforts, some things just take time. You can’t produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.”

“The nail that stands out gets hammered down.” ~Japanese proverb.

Sometimes setbacks may simply mean you need to re-focus your energies on another path or improve your game plan and seek personal development. In the end though, you become stronger and the lessons learned makes you wiser.

Top 15 Inspirational Quotes to keep you going when the going gets tough:

1. Think positive: “An entire sea of water can’t sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship. Similarly, the negativity of the world can’t put you down unless you allow it to get inside you.” ~Unknown

2. “Straight roads do not make skilful drivers.”  ~Paulo Coelho

3.  “A bend in the road is not the end of the road. Unless you fail to make the turn.” ~Helen Keller

4. “Every time you quit, someone else gets your prize.” ~Robert Kiyosaki

5. “Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind.”~Christian D. Larson 

6. “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”  ~Martin Luther King, Jr.

7. “Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” ~ Robert Louis Stevenson

8. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson.

9. “God will make a way where there seems to be no way.” ~Don Moen

10. “Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.” ~Victor Hugo

11. “There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it is going to be a butterfly” ~ Buckminster Fuller

12. A river cuts through a rock not because of its power, but its persistence.”~Unknown

13. “As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good, I was actually being re-directed to something better.” ~Steve Maraboli

14.  “Faith is like a radar that sees through the fog.” ~Corrie Ten Boom

15. “I will prepare and some day my chance will come.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

It was then in an instant when all hope was gone everything changed. I was in amazement. I wasn’t expecting anything to happen so soon. I was just so focused on my plan and had mentally psyched myself up for the long bumpy road ahead. Yes, it had been like this for quite a while but,  everybody has their day and today was my day.  “Just because something isn’t happening for you right now, doesn’t mean that it will never happen. You never know what’s around the corner.” ~ Unknown.

In spite of how many obstacles faced and negative feedback I got, I chose to believe in myself and my dreams and not in others grip of reality. I realized this was My Story and I wanted a good ending. I was indeed pressed beyond all measure yet I chose  not to give up!

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5 Ways mentally strong people deal with Rejection

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If there was one topic I would say I have the authority to discuss, it would be rejection.Throughout my journey, I’ve faced many ups and downs. At times the downs seems more than the ups, which can be overwhelming.

Often the people who you think “have it all” are people who have endured the most rejection. Not everyone who’s on top today got there with success after success. Their beginnings weren’t always smooth and they often had to face great obstacles and ridicule.

Rejection is one of the most brutal stakes to the heart because it deals a direct hit to the ego. There are few experiences more painful than being rejected. Dealing with rejection can be tough. A lot of people would chose physical pain rather than being rejected. Our basic human need to belong causes these incidents to stick with us throughout the years.

If you are charting a new path in a forested area expect rejection. Many of us have stifled our dreams by heeding some misguided critic who implied we were not good enough. Rejection is unavoidable in a creative life. Learning how to deal with rejection will keep you from plummeting into a place of immobilizing despair.

Overcoming Rejection

Keep in mind that you will probably never get rid of rejection; you may be rejected many times until the end of your life. Rejection on the whole is painful but viewing rejection as necessary and even positive will help you overcome it that much more easily.

  • Have a vision and don’t let anything or anyone deter you from following it. Take Courage. Put full steam into the next best opportunity you are working on.
  • Keep a positive mental attitude. Pick up the pieces and dust yourself off. Stay motivated. When one door closes,try another door. Keep trying sooner or later the right door will open.
  • Don’t take it personally. Rejection is not a measure of your self–worth. When somebody rejects you, sometimes they are acting on their own insecurities and fears.

  Believe in yourself and there will come a day when others will have no choice but to believe with you ~Oscar Wilde

  • Avoid over thinking the rejection. Don’t torture yourself repeatedly, reliving the moments of humiliation and thinking what you could have done to counteract it. If you keep picking at a scab, the wound would keep bleeding and you will never heal.
  • Nothing happens before it’s time. Accept it was never meant for you at that point in timeWhen we get rejected we trap ourselves in a moment of doubt and distress. Don’t feel sorry for yourself and slump into an attitude of self-pity.
  • Rejection offers us a chance to evolve through and learn from our experiences. Focus on professional and personal (spiritual, emotional, mental, physical) development. Life is not fair so develop thicker skin. Adversity may make or break you, but it certainly reveals you.
  •  Have Faith and Trust God to direct your steps – You weren’t rejected…You were divinely redirected. Things may look dismal, you may get disappointed but don’t be discouraged.When you look back you will say “Thank God!” that you didn’t settle for less. There was better in store.

5 Benefits of Rejection

1. It gets you fired up as it gives you something to prove – Harrison Ford: In his first film, Ford was told by the movie execs that he simply didn’t have what it takes to be a star. It added fire to the fuel as it gave him something to prove.

2. It makes you more creative – In 1919, Walt Disney was fired from the Kansas City Star. According to his editor, he “lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” You will find new ways to market yourself and your product.

3. It makes you work harder – Michael Jordan – “I think that not making the Varsity team drove me to really work at my game, and also taught me that if you set goals, and work hard to achieve them—the hard work can pay off.”

4. It develops your character  Your response to rejection shows how you respond when things don’t go my way. Are you able to let go or do you become resentful? You also will be more supportive to others facing similar struggles.

5. It builds strength – Today, Abraham Lincoln is remembered as one of the greatest leaders. However, rejection followed him in much of his early life. It did however better prepare him to handle ridicule in the public eye.

“Rejection is the sand in the oyster, the irritant that ultimately produces the pearl.” ~Burke Wilkinson

Remember, although the road may seem long and winding there is a prize waiting at the finish line for you and all those who rejected you, will have to join in applauding you. Never give up, for you just may be one step away from achieving your dream.

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Never Give Up!

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Despite having faced numerous setbacks, I have always kept going, carrying “Never Give Up, just try one more time as my motto.

So how do you keep going when nothing “seems” to be working out for you? After all, how do you climb back onto the saddle when the horse has flung you off; when your plans fall to pieces and your dreams turn into ashes. “I encourage you to accept that you may not be able to see a path right now, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there.” ~ Nick Vujicic

What makes some people give up whilst others hold on until the prize is won? How do you not give up when everything inside you to tells you to? When it seems your investment is yielding no returns; when your dreams seem a far stretch.

Keep focused. Be positive. Believe in yourself and your abilities. Have a good support network and actively seek out ways to help others. Be thankful for what you have, never compare yourself and most importantly, trust God and have faith.

Life will throw curve balls at you and will attempt to break you down, nothing may happen exactly as you have planned. Just when you think things are starting to turn around, life may smack you back down, but don’t despair. You will get disappointed but don’t be discouraged. Life is a constant struggle with extreme lows and highs, that’s why, it’s crucial to alwaysbuild on failure and use it as a stepping stone.

“Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.” ~Denis Waitley

The road to success is quite bumpy and frankly curvy, so how do you keep going? It’s definitely about perspective, how you look at things. My formula is take things one step at a time. Have a clear road map, as with traveling any path, there will be turns, obstacles, and potholes, so you must anticipate them and adjust accordingly. Don’t take rejection personally; keep moving forward.

Visualize the end result but don’t only focus on the destination, enjoy the journey. Make a conscious decision to be happy now. Speak positive affirmations. Be patient and don’t worry. Always let PurposePassion, PersistencePatience, Courage and Hope be the fellows that accompany you on your journey. Sometimes setbacks may simply mean you need to re-focus your energies on another path or improve your game plan and seek personal development. In the end though, you become stronger and the lessons learned makes you wiser.

So Keep trying, Keep reaching, Keep dreaming. You never know what’s around the corner. Even if things look bleak right now, your future is bright! “Never give upfor that is just the place and time that the tide will turn” ~Harriet Stowe.

Always Think Big and Never ever give up!

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A GOOD BOSS is better than a good company!

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My first boss was the best. I had a family emergency and before I could finish explaining to him the situation. He said, “And you are still standing here talking to me? Why aren’t you out the door yet? I’ll cover for you.” I smiled then went to my desk, took my belongings and left. Thereafter, he had my full commitment.

Joseph was a good boss and I would have worked for him in any company. Good bosses can make work meaningful and interesting even in a bad company. They make work feel like a home away from home. Whilst a bad boss can make your work life miserable. They will micromanage you, blame you, and do everything to hold you back.

A good boss is better than a good company. A good boss would discipline you, train you, develop you.”  -Jack Ma

Joseph was a people builder. Words such as “Good work team, You are the best”, “I trust your judgement” were at the top of his dictionary. He empowered, appreciated and trusted employees to get the work done. Team spirit was high during his reign.

Sadly, his approach of putting people first did not sit well with top management, and within a year he was moved. Our new boss was quite the opposite. I felt like I had to be constantly looking over my shoulders. His sole focus was on the bottom line and he was always pointing fingers. He was more concerned about pushing his weight around than building relationships. Employee engagement and morale fell at an all time low. It’s demotivating working for a manager who does not stand up for their team. If you make a mistake they quickly turn into judge, jury and executioner. I liked my job but I could not function effectively in such an environment, so I decided it was time to hand in my resignation letter.

A truly Great Boss is hard to find, difficult to part with, and impossible to forget.

Employees don’t leave bad jobs, they leave bad bosses! Most of the time an employee has an issue with a company, it has to do with something related to their boss. At the heart of the breakdown of the manager-employee relationship, lies a lack of trust, respect and empathy. When you go beyond the call of duty for your employer, and they respond with insensitivity and inflexibility during your time of need, the relationship at that exact moment is lost.

Employees yearn for good bosses. A recent study found that 65% of employees would rather have a better boss than a salary increase. There is nothing like having a boss who has your back. They make your working experience so much better. Employees spend over half of their lives at work. They want to work in a healthy environment with a boss who looks out for them. It’s time that companies realize that all the money or perks, will not retain good staff if they have a bad boss. A good boss is without a doubt, one of the best incentives to keeping staff, happy and engaged.

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