Author: brigette

For far too long, being nice has been mistaken for being weak. In reality, niceness is an necessary quality of leadership for the world we’re living in. It has become so rare that when someone does a kind act or goes out of their way to be nice to someone, it goes viral on social media. Being nice doesn’t mean you can’t make hard decisions or stand up to difficult people, it just means you are respectful, kind, and show empathy to your employees.

When kindness isn’t modeled in the workplace, we find ourselves in an environment that is, unhealthy and at worst, toxic. Today people are clamoring for a more human style of leadership. In an age of automation and AI, leaders hard skills are easily being replicated by smart technology. What will make the difference in effective leadership is soft skills.

Here are 7 ways I’ve found being nice can bring you more success as a leader at work. You can start to encourage a culture of being nice to others by carrying out random acts of kindness during your day.

1. Be considerate: Hold the door open for the person behind you. If you are going to the water cooler, ask someone close to you if they would like you to fetch water for them also.

2. Smile at a colleague. When you make eye contact and smile at someone you are showing that they matter which gives them a boost of happiness.

3. Mind your manners. Say “Good morning” or “Hello” to colleagues more often.

4. Show appreciation: Be more vocal in your praise. Acknowledge the contribution and efforts of others.

5. Listen more. Learn to listen with the intent to understand. Don’t just dismiss or ridicule others’ viewpoints. Listening shows that you care.

6. Offer support and help to team members who are struggling.

7. Treat everyone with the same level of respect, whether it be the janitor or the CEO.

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind always.

The way you treat others shows your values and true character. You can’t influence others if you aren’t authentic. Employees are looking at you as a leader to determine if they can trust you.

In my experience, tough and nice doesn’t have to be incompatible. Managers, please use the human-to-human approach when dealing with employees. It’s people you are dealing with, not just a statistic on a graph. Get to know your people, meet them where they are, and be flexible. Employees want to be treated as human beings.

In the end, people make companies successful. Any strategy or business plan relies on motivated and engaged people to make it happen! It’s just like a relationship. For a relationship to last, there must be mutual respect, love, trust, understanding and appreciation. Without these, the foundation is shaky. This is why the most successful companies focus on people and relationships, and make sure both are not just managed but lead and cared for.

I worked for a company for 3 years and only got two interviews for internal jobs I applied for. I never got promoted even though I was acting in the position. One day I applied to another company, and was offered an amazing opportunity and within 6 months, they gave me a promotion. I ended up getting employee of the year. My old boss asked me to come back for the same promotion. I told him, “Thanks, but no thanks.”

As I look back, I am thankful for all the rejection I received from that previous employer. It was a blessing in disguise. Rejection hurts but don’t dwell on it or take it personally. If you focus on positive thinking, even the harshest defeat is only a stepping-stone. So if you didn’t get the job or promotion, don’t let it affect your self-worth, just think of it as. “I am not being rejected, I am being redirected to something better!” Why would you want to work for a company that does not appreciate your talents, hard-work or loyalty?

Rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough; it means the other person failed tonotice what you have to offer. – Mark Amend

We spend over half of our lives at work. We all want a job that gives us a sense of fulfillment at the end of the day. Life is too short to put up with a job you dislike or a boss who treats you poorly. No amount of money can compensate for a toxic culture.

Too many of us are hanging around in places, relationships, jobs where we are not being valued – where the life is literally being sucked out of us. Why? Because of fear or lack of confidence in ourselves and in our abilities. We convince ourselves that we can stay in a job that makes us unhappy because we need the income or because we don’t believe we can find another job. But the truth is spending too much of it in a bad situation will make you miserable and it can affect your health.

Go where you are celebrated – not tolerated!

Working in an environment that you are merely tolerated will only hold you back. Instead try to work for loyal employers who appreciate your talents and will give you opportunities to grow and develop. If you dread Mondays, and the high point of your working experience is Friday or payday, then perhaps it’s time to start looking at other companies or perhaps starting your own business. The biggest challenge we all face throughout our career is to be brave enough to walk away when our loyalty and hard work are taken for granted. Speaking from experience, it’s a scary decision.

Change is scary, but there are really great positions/great companies out there. Know your worth. Even when the current situation tries to make you think otherwise. Network, volunteer and learn new skills. Start taking small steps to where you want to be. You deserve so much better!

My new boss told me to never be afraid to give feedback. The next Monday morning in a meeting, I happily shared my viewpoint on a new policy. Thereafter, I noticed my boss’s disposition towards me changed. He stopped talking to me. I was shunned. I even felt the effects of this in my monthly performance appraisal, where he noted, I was not supportive of the organization, and I needed to be a better team player. The picture was quite clear – truthful feedback was not appreciated.

Heather, a co-worker approached me and said, “You are new, honest feedback is just lip service, don’t fall for it.” I quickly learned loyalists and sycophants were appreciated, while realists were punished. They built a culture of “yes employees.” I knew I had so much to offer, yet I couldn’t. Six months later, my boss was fired. He made a mistake on a proposal that cost the company its biggest client. This could have been easily avoided if he had just asked for honest input.

Listening is the most powerful skill a leader can master but it requires humility.

Your employees are your most valuable asset. Don’t take your employees for granted or treat them poorly. They use your internal tools and systems and interact with customers. They are your best brand ambassadors. Loyalty is a two-way street. You can’t buy loyalty, but you can certainly foster and nurture it. Employees who have been pushed to the point where they no longer care, will not go the extra mile. They will not take the initiative to solve problems. They will end up treating customers the same way you treat them. Employees are the heart beat of the company. And if the heart stops beating…What will happen?

” Leaders who don’t listen will eventually be surrounded by people who have nothing to say.” -Andy Stanley

Titans as Blackberry, Kodak and Nokia have paid the price for leaders who refused to listen. Their leaders operated in a bubble and engaged in group think. I’ve heard managers complain that “my employees won’t speak up.” Instead of labeling them as bad or disloyal employees, these same managers should maybe look in the mirror and ask how those people ended up that way.

Research suggests you need to praise at least three times as much as you criticize to keep employees happy. Instead of being quick to criticize, be quick to point out some of the great things you see your employees doing. This will not only reinforce these positive actions with the employees that performed them but also encourage other employees to do the same.

As a leader, your job is to encourage others around you to be open and honest without a negative consequence. When employees offer their ideas and differing opinions – be open-minded. Companies that remain strong in this competitive market, understand the need to embrace change and continuous improvement. More than ever, leaders will need to master the skill of “Lead with Listening.” The success of your business will depend on it!